Post by Scouser on May 7, 2011 7:18:48 GMT -5
Excerpt from “Confessions of a Crap-Head”
(crap-head)
“I remember when I first got into crap. It was great. Everyone was giving me crap for free. I loved the high. I thought they were all my friends – crap-heads together. Then when all the free crap was gone and I was hooked, my so-called friends started charging me for crap. So I bought it.”
“I didn’t know any better, I just wanted some crap. But the crap just wasn’t the same anymore. Sure, it promised the same high but never came close to what I expected it to be. The more crap I had, the more I wanted it. So I kept buying more and more crap, as much as I could afford. But then I couldn’t afford it anymore and started borrowing to pay for the crap. After a few months, the money ran dry. I owed so much I wondered how I could get myself out of the situation. That’s when I decided I could make some money selling crap myself. “
“So I thought I’d sell crap. Everybody else was doing it – why couldn’t I? But I just didn’t have the heart to sell crap to anyone. I was sick from all the crap – how could I push crap onto some stranger when I knew what it was doing to me - how useless it was, what a waste of time it was, it just seemed wrong. That’s why I wouldn’t do it. There’s enough crap out there if people want it. I’m not going to push crap on unsuspecting people when I know the truth.”
“Look at me now. I’ve taken so much crap I don’t talk anymore – unless it’s about crap. I’m so sick of crap. I wish I’d never got involved with it. It’s ruined me. Sure, I could have made some money along the way dealing crap, just to get more crap, but at the end of the day, it’s all just crap.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror – all I see is crap looking back at me. I wish I had done it differently. I wish I had never gotten involved with crap. It’s such a waste of time. All the years I’ve wasted on crap I can never get back.
“If there’s a lesson I can teach to anyone out there who is thinking of trying crap – don’t do it. It will get you nowhere fast, and you’ll lose all your money on the way. At first it feels good, but then begins the slow descent into debt and misery. I got it wrong. Don’t make my mistakes.”
Transcript from a brief interview with a previous associate of crap-head….
(Interviewer)
So how did he get off the crap?
(Former Associate)
Well, he met this former crap-head, very heavy crap-head in his day. He’d lost everything chasing the crap, he went wherever he could get it. It finally broke him, physically and financially. Then he woke up and said to himself – I don’t need this crap, I’m not taking this crap anymore. And he stopped using it. Just like that. It was an epiphany.
Suddenly, it all became clear. He went away for a couple of years and re-educated himself – stopped taking all the crap and got himself clean.
How is he now?
Well, he’s not rich, but what he has got, he doesn’t waste on crap anymore. He’s smarter now, he’s got his crap together. He will never buy crap anymore – he’s fully recovered.
Can you tell me his name?
I can’t tell you who he is. He’s out there. You’ve just got to find him for yourself. He doesn’t sell anything, so don’t be expecting to buy any crap from him. He’s out there just to help people who are still buying crap. He’s determined to get people off crap – if he can do it, anyone can. He’s trying to stop the crap anyway he can – in fact, he’s dedicated himself to it.
Where can I find him?
He’s everywhere and nowhere. But be warned, if you do find him, don’t offer him any crap – he’s had enough crap - he just might throw it back in your face. There’s only so much crap one person can take, and he’s had a lifetime’s worth of crap.
So where did he get his crap from?
Oh, by these guys who really know their crap. They’ve been selling it for years behind the scenes. Nobody really knows them. They stay in the shadows, mostly. You’ll never find out their real names, they’re that shady. They come and go - in and out fast when they see a great crap deal, when the crap’s real hot. They get the crap stuff at cut price, take their own cut, then cut the crap themselves and sell the crap on at a massive profit. They’re making a crap load of money. No-one knows it’s not really their crap. They’re just passing the crap on to someone else to sell. Supply and demand as it’s called in the crap trade.
So what happens to all this crap?
Well, the distributors turn the crap into more crap and sell it as their own crap. No-one knows really, except for those who make the actual crap, and the people who buy the crap. It’s a secret society of crap. Even though everyone knows where it really comes from, crap-heads want the crap so much, they don’t care where it comes from or who, as long as they get their crap. That’s the beauty of crap – it sells like crap.
But listen. I’ve got some better crap. Not off that crap guy. A guy who’s got the real crap stuff. This crap is like crap you’ve ever seen before. Some real good crap. Keep it to yourself, this crap is crap hot! I can’t tell you how crap this stuff is. If word gets out, everyone will want this crap.
No Thanks. I tried crap once and didn’t like it. Are you a crap-head yourself?
No, no. I just use it when I need it. There’s some good crap out there if you know how to find it, but usually I just make my own crap – it’s pretty easy really. The good stuff is really tricky to find – it’s like Gold Dust. Very few people know of it, so if you find anyone who can get their hands on it, let me know. I heard of a guy they call ******, supposed to be in the UK somewhere. He’s got a mean reputation as the ‘go to guy’ who holds all the Gold Dust. ***** I think his name is. I’m going to check him out.
So what’s happened to crap-head?
The last time we talked, he ended up asking me to leave - too many questions apparently. He said he had to get online and help some people he knew were in trouble - he’s turned into some kind of vigilante. Who knows what he’ll do next.
He was really high, excited – not from the crap, but something he was about to do. He said he had to check his stats, whatever that meant. All I remember was as I was walking out the door, he slipped me a piece of paper and then disappeared muttering something about dogs…..
What was written on it?
It said…..
You’ve got be crazy. Gotta have a real need. Gotta sleep on your toes, and when you’re on the street, you got to be able to pick out the easy meat, with your eyes closed.
Then moving in silently downwind and out of sight you’ve got to strike when the moment is right without thinking.
And after a while, you can work on points for style. Like a club tie, and a firm handshake, a certain look in the eyes, and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted. By the people that you lie to. So that when they turn their backs on you – you’ll get the chance to put the knife in….
You’ve got to keep one eye, looking over your shoulder. You know, it’s gonna get harder, harder and harder, as you get older. And in the end you’ll pack up, fly down south, hide your head in the sand.
Just another sad old man, all alone, dying of cancer haaa haaa!!
And it’s too late to lose the weight you used to need to throw around. So have a good drown, as you go down, all alone– dragged down by the stone…
Gotta admit, that I’m a little confused. Sometimes it seems to me, as if I’m just being used. Gotta stay awake gotta try and shake off, this creeping malaise. If I don’t stand my own ground, how can I find my way out this maze?
Deaf, dumb and blind. You just keep on pretending. That everyone’s expendable, and no-one has a real friend. But it seems to you the thing to do, would be to isolate the winner. And everything’s done under the sun, and you believe at heart everyone’s so caring…..
That’s all I can tell you.
(crap-head)
“I remember when I first got into crap. It was great. Everyone was giving me crap for free. I loved the high. I thought they were all my friends – crap-heads together. Then when all the free crap was gone and I was hooked, my so-called friends started charging me for crap. So I bought it.”
“I didn’t know any better, I just wanted some crap. But the crap just wasn’t the same anymore. Sure, it promised the same high but never came close to what I expected it to be. The more crap I had, the more I wanted it. So I kept buying more and more crap, as much as I could afford. But then I couldn’t afford it anymore and started borrowing to pay for the crap. After a few months, the money ran dry. I owed so much I wondered how I could get myself out of the situation. That’s when I decided I could make some money selling crap myself. “
“So I thought I’d sell crap. Everybody else was doing it – why couldn’t I? But I just didn’t have the heart to sell crap to anyone. I was sick from all the crap – how could I push crap onto some stranger when I knew what it was doing to me - how useless it was, what a waste of time it was, it just seemed wrong. That’s why I wouldn’t do it. There’s enough crap out there if people want it. I’m not going to push crap on unsuspecting people when I know the truth.”
“Look at me now. I’ve taken so much crap I don’t talk anymore – unless it’s about crap. I’m so sick of crap. I wish I’d never got involved with it. It’s ruined me. Sure, I could have made some money along the way dealing crap, just to get more crap, but at the end of the day, it’s all just crap.
“I can’t look at myself in the mirror – all I see is crap looking back at me. I wish I had done it differently. I wish I had never gotten involved with crap. It’s such a waste of time. All the years I’ve wasted on crap I can never get back.
“If there’s a lesson I can teach to anyone out there who is thinking of trying crap – don’t do it. It will get you nowhere fast, and you’ll lose all your money on the way. At first it feels good, but then begins the slow descent into debt and misery. I got it wrong. Don’t make my mistakes.”
Transcript from a brief interview with a previous associate of crap-head….
(Interviewer)
So how did he get off the crap?
(Former Associate)
Well, he met this former crap-head, very heavy crap-head in his day. He’d lost everything chasing the crap, he went wherever he could get it. It finally broke him, physically and financially. Then he woke up and said to himself – I don’t need this crap, I’m not taking this crap anymore. And he stopped using it. Just like that. It was an epiphany.
Suddenly, it all became clear. He went away for a couple of years and re-educated himself – stopped taking all the crap and got himself clean.
How is he now?
Well, he’s not rich, but what he has got, he doesn’t waste on crap anymore. He’s smarter now, he’s got his crap together. He will never buy crap anymore – he’s fully recovered.
Can you tell me his name?
I can’t tell you who he is. He’s out there. You’ve just got to find him for yourself. He doesn’t sell anything, so don’t be expecting to buy any crap from him. He’s out there just to help people who are still buying crap. He’s determined to get people off crap – if he can do it, anyone can. He’s trying to stop the crap anyway he can – in fact, he’s dedicated himself to it.
Where can I find him?
He’s everywhere and nowhere. But be warned, if you do find him, don’t offer him any crap – he’s had enough crap - he just might throw it back in your face. There’s only so much crap one person can take, and he’s had a lifetime’s worth of crap.
So where did he get his crap from?
Oh, by these guys who really know their crap. They’ve been selling it for years behind the scenes. Nobody really knows them. They stay in the shadows, mostly. You’ll never find out their real names, they’re that shady. They come and go - in and out fast when they see a great crap deal, when the crap’s real hot. They get the crap stuff at cut price, take their own cut, then cut the crap themselves and sell the crap on at a massive profit. They’re making a crap load of money. No-one knows it’s not really their crap. They’re just passing the crap on to someone else to sell. Supply and demand as it’s called in the crap trade.
So what happens to all this crap?
Well, the distributors turn the crap into more crap and sell it as their own crap. No-one knows really, except for those who make the actual crap, and the people who buy the crap. It’s a secret society of crap. Even though everyone knows where it really comes from, crap-heads want the crap so much, they don’t care where it comes from or who, as long as they get their crap. That’s the beauty of crap – it sells like crap.
But listen. I’ve got some better crap. Not off that crap guy. A guy who’s got the real crap stuff. This crap is like crap you’ve ever seen before. Some real good crap. Keep it to yourself, this crap is crap hot! I can’t tell you how crap this stuff is. If word gets out, everyone will want this crap.
No Thanks. I tried crap once and didn’t like it. Are you a crap-head yourself?
No, no. I just use it when I need it. There’s some good crap out there if you know how to find it, but usually I just make my own crap – it’s pretty easy really. The good stuff is really tricky to find – it’s like Gold Dust. Very few people know of it, so if you find anyone who can get their hands on it, let me know. I heard of a guy they call ******, supposed to be in the UK somewhere. He’s got a mean reputation as the ‘go to guy’ who holds all the Gold Dust. ***** I think his name is. I’m going to check him out.
So what’s happened to crap-head?
The last time we talked, he ended up asking me to leave - too many questions apparently. He said he had to get online and help some people he knew were in trouble - he’s turned into some kind of vigilante. Who knows what he’ll do next.
He was really high, excited – not from the crap, but something he was about to do. He said he had to check his stats, whatever that meant. All I remember was as I was walking out the door, he slipped me a piece of paper and then disappeared muttering something about dogs…..
What was written on it?
It said…..
You’ve got be crazy. Gotta have a real need. Gotta sleep on your toes, and when you’re on the street, you got to be able to pick out the easy meat, with your eyes closed.
Then moving in silently downwind and out of sight you’ve got to strike when the moment is right without thinking.
And after a while, you can work on points for style. Like a club tie, and a firm handshake, a certain look in the eyes, and an easy smile.
You have to be trusted. By the people that you lie to. So that when they turn their backs on you – you’ll get the chance to put the knife in….
You’ve got to keep one eye, looking over your shoulder. You know, it’s gonna get harder, harder and harder, as you get older. And in the end you’ll pack up, fly down south, hide your head in the sand.
Just another sad old man, all alone, dying of cancer haaa haaa!!
And it’s too late to lose the weight you used to need to throw around. So have a good drown, as you go down, all alone– dragged down by the stone…
Gotta admit, that I’m a little confused. Sometimes it seems to me, as if I’m just being used. Gotta stay awake gotta try and shake off, this creeping malaise. If I don’t stand my own ground, how can I find my way out this maze?
Deaf, dumb and blind. You just keep on pretending. That everyone’s expendable, and no-one has a real friend. But it seems to you the thing to do, would be to isolate the winner. And everything’s done under the sun, and you believe at heart everyone’s so caring…..
That’s all I can tell you.